Become a better person
Well hello my friends, so happy to be here with you, although here is quite relative really. So the topic for today is friendship. We know you are thinking that sounds boring, but stick with us for a while. What makes for a good friendship? Some one who’s about the same as you spiritually, usually the samish location so you can hang out, similar interests, similar code of ethics or lack there of. You want your friend to treat you respectfully, courteously and kindly, do you agree? So here’s where it gets interesting. So what if your friend is not respectful, courteous and kind to you? Do they have a right to ask for those considerations back? Most people are terrible, no horrible at self examination. They think they should be rich, with the coolest things, the coolest friends, the coolest vacations, and they moan and complain that they don’t have those things, yet they can’t look at themselves and their own behaviors to figure out why they aren’t a vibrational match for those things. They literally find it scary to examine their own behavior because then they might need to figure out why they act like a horse’s rear end and they might need to address it, and there’s no way in hell they are willing to open that can of worms. Easier to just continue to complain like their parents and grandparents, and then obviously teach their kids the same thing. Where does it end? If you are readying this of your own free will, it can obviously stop with you. You can find the courage break the cycle of bad behavior and heal generational wounds. We applaud you for being that person, as it certainly is a whole lot more work, although obviously has plenty of rewards.
Ok you say, I’m willing to take this on, where do I start? Start with jotting down all the qualities you admire in other people - nice, generous, kind to animals, dependable, honest, respectful, loving to friends and strangers, etc. Now pick out your top two or three, do you have those attributes? Let’s say you decide you want to work on them to say be even more nice, so then make a list of things you could do, you could do, start easy - send thoughtful emojis to your friends to tell them you appreciate them, compliment people you meet, hold open doors, give people rides, etc. Hold yourself accountable to get out of your comfort zone and do a couple every day, after you’ve do those for a week, add in a couple more. Have fun with it. It may feel like work at first, but it can grow into a habit, one that makes you feel good about yourself and others.
So you say you’ve got that one day, what do you do next? Next, think back to the bad attributes of your tribe (parents, family, teachers, etc), list the behaviors that were the most detrimental and look at your own behavior to see if you ever do those things. If you do, don’t blame yourself, part of human development is to model those around us, we learn it at a very early age. If you found some of those, there’s another opportunity.
Next, children, have you ever treated your children in an unkind way? Nobody’s perfect, we all make mistakes, there’s little mistakes like forgetting to make their lunch and there’s larger mistakes like hitting them. It’s never ok to hit your children, ever. Ok, maybe if they are choking or something. People raised in dysfunctional households (most people) repeat the only behavior they know, not to be mean, but because it was learned. You think how in the world can I ever make that up to my children? At some point we do recommend sitting down with them and explaining that you learned some bad child rearing habits and passed it on, but now you are a nicer, kinder person and you’d really like to apologize for anything you did was mean or hurtful, and tell them how much you love and adore them. That and treating them like lovely gifts from the universe going forward is the best you can do.
What if you’ve been mean or hurtful to others? If they are still in your life, you may want to apologize to them, explain you’ve turned over a new leaf. If they aren’t in your life, you will have to judge if you should find them and make amends or if you should just write an apology to get it out of your system and out into the universe and then throw it away. It will feel good to acknowledge and say you’re sorry even if you’re the only one who knows.
If you’ve gotten this far, you wonder what’s next, great question…the road to becoming a better person isn’t a one and done, most of us will never get to the level of Gandhi, but step at a time, one day at a time, we can increasingly find ways to be kinder, more gentle, more loving to everyone around us. We wish this for you, and as you go through your metamorphosis, you will find others on the same path, because life is better in community. We wish this for you. Much love Sansadar
